yes i am; i have no idea what to do. someone make sense of life right now. one road leads to happiness and the other road leads to success. but i assure you, the first road comes with success too. i dont know which one to chose. a certain someone *COUGH COUGH MOM* has only given me a chance to walk on the second road. but im not sure if i want to. although it is extremely tempting to do so, the only question which crosses my mind is...am i capable of it? YES i am very good with people, i am kind and sweet to people in need and i take credit for it but am i capable of studying for the rest of my happy years just to end up in some fancy hospital working my ass off day in and day out just to earn a fancy living? adults dont get it. as much as i wish i had kazillions of ucks to throw just so that i could buy my very own jet to london and study Archaeology, i must confront the situation im in right now. Some people are just born with every opportunity hanging by their side. for example, so and so could just say i want to learn so and so subject and i wish to learn it RIGHT NOW! and rich daddy or mummy would buy it for their little spoilt princess or prince and the next minute their of to dream university. Hard work isn't on their list of to do's. now i may not know much bout hard work only because i was definitely a spoilt princess once. but i did not have the opportunity to stay so. its pathetic. and due to that i lost a year of college. but that one lost year has changed me. it change me for the better. i have amazing friends who i absolutely adore. but some certain people around me just dont get who or what i want to be. for them, its just about being rich and living a wonderful lifestyle. what happened to the good ol' days when a person did what HE or SHE wished to do? even when they toiled every single day but came home with the fruits of their labor to their loving family and sat down to realize how happy they are. it not always about being successful, its about being happy. i dont have that card to play, my chances are almost impossible. why ALMOST? coz' i have the option of learning arts in a nearby college for the next 5 yrs, something completely out of the blue, i must say. i dont want to be an under achiever. i want to learn more than that. i had a dream. i wanted it so bad. and no one has a clue as to how bad it hurts to just put this huge smile as your mother jumps around all excited coz im gonna be doing medicine now. why? coz my "father" wanted me to. where is he now anyway? not around.did not stick around to help me at this crossroad. this is the only place i can actually share my feelings. so here i am.
1 comment:
I understand what you mean. I am in a community where girls and boys are spoilt and rich. They can have anything they want. I am spoilt too but i need to work for it. But I sit in class in carreas class and i hear all these girls and boys say they want to be doctors and lawyers. I sit there and I say I want a hippie van and i want to be in love and happy. they stare at me and they say that is chucking my education away. No it isnt. Some people have unrealistic visions espesally those girls who want be lawyers who arent straight A students. They only want it for the money not the happiness. Do what YOU want to do. You may feel awful. But ure parents will forgive u once they see you are happy (:
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