Where I belong

id be kidding if id say i wasn't depressed, maybe will for the next few months, but thats just a process we all need to go through to reach success...it starts with something horrible, then you go into depression, your wounded and you just wanna be alone, then you want to shut yourself from the world, then you keep screaming at thin air asking for reasons as to WHY this happened to YOU? of all the people, why you?, but then you start realizing its nature's way of showing you your true path, your very purpose on this earth, it happens, you realize giving up on your dream was never ever the remedy, you realize its always worth a shot, at least if your going down you'd be happy to know you gave your dream a shot, right? so here goes nothing, im starting from Square one, and im going to break down constantly, but that does NOT mean im going to give up so easily...id like to thank Pri, she's one person apart from Nil who really actually gives a fuck about me, she believes in her dream just like me; no fucking doubt we are dreamers but like i quoted Paulo Coelho in my last post, dreams can come true...we need to give it a try, there's no harm in that...So here it goes...CHEERS TO WARPED, THE SHOVEL BUM AND THE BRILLIANT CARTOONIST ARE COMING YOUR FUCKIN WAY BABY!!!

This Is Why We Cant Have Nice Things

12days left for my next exam and mum has managed to scare the shit outta me...thanks woman! i have to admit i do have a inferiority complex, and its stupid to blame someone else for that, but what the heck! The lady has no idea how to talk to me half the time, everytime we have a conversation it end with us throwing stuff at each other, and now she is deffo about me failing my exam; id really appreciate her being a little supportive, but she never really is..always into her own thing; yea anyway i shall not go on about her,i can feel my nerves twitching lol so yea its been nice, music, studies, Psych...been addicted to LPS and The Blackout, and i love it...i have mentioned this in my tweets too, about how music and football is the only thing i live for...and its the truth...those things just help me move on each day; cant wait for FIFA 201O; i swear by the name of spike that if i ever get a chance to get out of this country, the first thing id do is shop till i drop in Hot Topic,Baby Cakes, Drop Dead...ahhhh!!! all those band T's and all those CDs!!! man! im such a dreamer, but seriously, id be watching a concert or two each day; and of course the WARPED TOUR wif Pri, thats going to be aweeesommmeee! lets just hope it happens ;)and watching Soccer!and my dream of being an Archaeologist, well if thats not going to happen, im sure that some day i will travel all over the world... well, back to reality now, if it ever happens, id consider myself blessed atlast..i think its normal to hate how your life is, people say we should be content with it..but what if we want more? what if its not we wanted? call me a ungrateful bitch...idc tbh, thats how i have and will be, a dreamer, who keeps going on about big things when im still stuck in the little world; i beleive greatly in the saying of Paulo Coelho "And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." remember this kids, and keep dreaming BIG!

Drugs and Alcohol taking over teens?

this is a subject i have wanted to write about for quite sometime...we see this topic everyday on tv so i dont have to introduce you to it. People,especially teenage girls, just screwing up their lives for the sake of fame, love or simply just to feel good about themselves. its quite sad how the media has changed our thinking. lets admit it, it could only be the media which would put such brilliant idea in our noggins. from ads, to movies, where beautiful women walk around half nude with their oversized breasts, their curvy bodies, this is where the idea generates in the minds of young girls. soon, the girls look at the mirror and are so displeased with what they see, coz the girl in the movie looked amazing! if only they looked like her, that boy from school would notice. and soon, ideas to keep in shape, like anorexia, bulimia begin to develop. then they see how small their breasts or asses are and tend to go ahead and have a surgery for enlargement.

A very good example of a person giving up her natural beauty to look like trash: HEIDI MONTAG



otherS, think it is so awesome to have that first drink/smoke/drug because their friends do it. they want to blend in, so they would do anything that their friends would do. here, the first drink/smoke/drug starts off but then they seem to enjoy it, and have a few more, it feels so good, coz its taking you to another place. you feel high, you feel like your awesome, you feel ecstatic. you keep doing it, and you want more. you do it everyday, and then its not just wanting, you NEED more. you want to stop but you just cant. but you think its fine, your parents dont know, and as long as you feel good. but whats really happening INSIDE your body is what you dont know about.
HERE ARE A FEW PICTURES OF THE LIVER AND LUNGS BEFORE AND AFTER DRINKING AND SMOKING:

LIVER



LUNGS


people with addictions tend to fall apart from their families, they make them their enemies all because they want to help them. Example is Lindsay Lohan, beautiful and smart, turned her self to an addict and now blames her father for everything bad and good in her life:
LINDSAY LOHAN


The bottom line is everyone should be happy with the way they look, nature is accurate with each person. each person has the right features and body which will suite him/her. why mend it? why try making yourself into something your not? why hurt yourself with harmful liquids and gases when you know there are other ways of coping stress and fun? each person needs to think about what happens to them from the inside, their bodies are being destroyed from within with each puff and drink. its not worth it in the end.

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Ask me anything http://formspring.me/theradone

Pull The Trigger, Ricochet

the title is pretty much descriptive of my life...i go two steps further then just come back to put the pieces together...but this is a good thing, i have always made mistakes, but i have managed to learn from these mistakes, i come back or go back to the past to see what i did wrong and make sure i never do those mistakes again. and i have made it through all those horrible time. i have realized i never really wrote much about me over here...so here goes:
im 18, i dont pretend to be something im not, im fun and i make sure everyone around me has a good time. once someone goes against me, they are permanently cut off from my life, i am a shit mouth, everyone who knows me will know that! but people dont really know me; even if they think they do, i am at times depressed, and thats why i like to be by myself; you see im not much of a family person, as much as i love everyone in my family, i always feel i have lost a part of my life since my father's death, i faced it bravely, i guess i wanted to be strong for mom. but it was a stupid decision, i will forever have nightmares... theres not one day that i can recall where i closed my eyes and saw something nice. its always ugly. i feel alone. i am alone. im not drowning in self pity here, its the truth and im cool with it. hence i managed to make this amazing world for myself, where i am so happy, you cant even imagine how much i appreciate it! its a world i have in my room. its made up of my cds and the amazing bands who i love, they help me with their music, it heals me, and makes me smile. i have my laptop where i get to go online and see videos and meet people and i feel so happy, coz i secretly wish to live this way. so even if this world is small, and often called "The fools paradise", it is mine, and it is everything. it makes me believe in myself. i hate relationships, coz i just think its a waste of time. friends come and go, but that one friend counts, he or she will be there for you in every step of your life. luckily i have found that friend. SO IN SHORT, THE REAL ME IS DEPRESSED,ROCKRCHIC,FUNNY,INTROVERT, CRAZY,A DREAMER,LEARNS FROM MISTAKES,CONFUSED, DOSENT BELIEVE IN FRIENDSHIP, HATES LOVE, AND TAKES NO SHIT >.<

STFUppercut!

HELLOOOO...its 2 am in the morning and im wide awake, a light tune on my player and a ebook in front of me...i feel like a teen from an all american movie! Me and Muffin went to the beach and it was all static forces and lightning, but it was cool coz it was nice to get rid of the heat; Plus there were the "Beach Boys", also got to see the Fag prince GV, anyway i have managed to waste my time very conveniently by listening to Mr.Watkins and Mr.Smith's music...especially have been addicted to Dstryr/Dstryr which has become my anthem now; i wanna travel! i feel theres just so much more to life than sitting and deciding what to do next, i mean WHY decide?! just do it ya know what i mean? its like you get an idea and you just go ahead and do it; once your this teen kid and the next minute your in a house walking around crawling babies crying their lungs out...people worry too much, mom always looks at me as i lie down on my bed singing along to my favourite band and she has this look saying "what will this girl do with her life". not that shes wrong, but WTF i think everyone really underestimates me :/ well what the heck, its not like i give a damn, i am a dreamer, no doubt, and the fact is life is too precious to waste worrying about the future; live life like moi lol im always cool, like Mugen from samurai Champloo, except for the gross parts ofcourse ;) my life is spent listening to music and watching soccer, and i love it mucho; anyway, i have lately just been really annoyed with boys, excluding my past experiences with the male species, i have found them to be really useless and a pathetic excuse of the so called "Man hood"; well thats about it for now, nitey nite! X

Blah Blah Blah

ahoy fellow blogfucks! its the 4th!!! do you know what that means?? well, it means nuthin, just another day, sleeping it out till 2 pm, wakey wakey and then right to the tv seated in my "U-SHAPED POSITION" as my mother calls it, munchin on some snack and a good looking glass of juice, just the way i like it :) then of course i waltz my way in to my room, literally, go online and tweet out my soul, just before i pause the world and drool over the background of my twitter page ;) facebook is a must, say heyyylow to me pals, then check out band updates, put on some kick ass Lostprophets music, or maybe Adam Lambert, or maybe Tokio Hotel, or maybe Nirvana..gahh well will find one that suites me mood at that moment... for example, right now im listenin to the Warped Tour compilation, i feel sooo rocker chic like right now! well back to my day, youtube updates are a must, i mean, chris crocker has somethin to say every single minute! then of course, my day would never end without checkin my inbox for HATE MAILS lmfaorofl! ja ja ja its true, and its fun, only because it makes my muscles twitch like in the anime >.< then as evening strikes, i go out for a walk,dont wanna miss out on the good lookin boys stayin in the flats opposite me Casa ;) then back, watch Psych, which btw is just repeating episodes of the last season! or maybe Desperate Housewives, American Idol is just an exception, coz it sucks this season...well anyhow, my day ends at 2am and as i read "AS YOU LIKE IT" i start gettin my yawns and stretches, so i tweet goodnight and crash into my cloud of nightmares...thats about it ^_^
P.S Samurai Champloo is the SHIT