Positively Lost

it happened again. i fell once. now it happened again. i portray myself as a strong person, but sometimes i cant hold myself up that way. today has been so dull, like a black and white fuck up movie. i feel like i have gone back in time. 2 yrs back. my nightmares are back. my smile is broken. guess its one of my depression attacks; but i feel good, it sometimes feels good to hurt than to just cover up everything.